NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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