The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
