You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
