Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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