I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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