He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
