If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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