She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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