How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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