week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
