Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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