I think I died a long time ago.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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