Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
