Sponge bath it is.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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