we have officially lost it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
