Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
