"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
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