I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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