chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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