You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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