yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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