I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
