Me. At least after what I've been through.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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