Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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