just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
