Kiss
Puke
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
