just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
