i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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