alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
