The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
