Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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