we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
