Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
