Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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