I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize