Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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