Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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