There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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