You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Houston, we have a blender
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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