i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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