I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize