I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
