got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
