woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
