White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How's work?
Spinning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
