Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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