I'm lost and stupid without you.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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