Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
