I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
