she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
