Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
