So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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