Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
high people should be assigned attendants
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
