Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize