she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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